Saturday 27 July 2013

The friend zone redux

Two months ago, I wrote a piece on why I think the friend zone doesn't exist. I discovered the article Nice Guy Syndrome And The Friend Zone by Alisse Desrosiers; in particular, I agree with and would like to share the following paragraph from her piece, as it mostly sums up what I wrote about in my post:

"The Friend Zone is a bullshit, misogynistic, make-believe land Nice Guys have come up with to demonize women for not wanting to date them. They use it as an excuse to ignore the fact that there are Actual Reasons behind their decision to not pursue a relationship or have sex with this guy. You know, like not being physically attracted to them. Or not being able to connect with them. Or seeing through their crap and realizing that the only reason these guys are even friends with them in the first place is so they can get laid."

Not being attracted to someone and/or not being able to/not wanting to form a romantic connection with them are completely valid reasons for not dating a certain person; it happens to men and it happens to women. There is no "zone".

As for "Nice Guys", I am working on an article about them; I put it aside in favour of my article about the friend zone but I do intend to finish the piece and post it. Finally, I'd like to clarify that while I don't usually include profanity in my blog, I wasn't going to change any of Desrosiers' words when I posted the extract from her article; it would have been insulting to her and it's a fairly trivial concern when compared to the topic.

6 comments:

  1. I can't wait to read your Nice Guy post. :D

    I'm trying to figure out if I'm being friend zoned... hmmm...

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  2. I've been meaning to use these. :)

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst

    http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/01/alt-text-nice-guy/

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    1. Thanks! I think I've sseen the Buzzfeed link before but not the Wired one. :)

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  3. That is brilliant, and I 100% agree with your post and that paragraph. I'm so glad someone is addressing this bullcrap Friend zone. It pisses me off.

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    1. You're welcome; I'm happy to share things about it. :)

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